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A Foot In The Box

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Baseball Is A Joke: The best comedian baseball bits

May 10, 2017 Peter Elliott

On this week's podcast, we started "SNL month" for our #baseballontv segment. Bob Uecker kicked it off with his 1984 performance; for each of the next three weeks, we'll discuss a baseball personality hosting the show. NBC makes it very difficult to watch SNL videos unless you have their app. So instead of showing you my favorite baseball SNL skits, I'm giving you my favorite comedian bits on baseball. Before that, though, I will give one SNL video. Chris Farley as John Kruk.

 

Brian Regan

On playing Little League baseball: "Our coach would yell from the dugout, 'Hey guys, let's hear some chatter out there.'  What are we, rabbits? Chattering is saying 'hey batter' over and over again. I don't think I've felt like more of an idiot in my life."

On playing slow pitch softball: "I struck out in slow pitch softball last summer. Let me tell you something, there's not a whole lot more humbling in life than striking out in slow pitch. What can your teammates say? 'Oh man, he throws a wicked 12-foot arc.'"

 

George Carlin - Baseball vs Football

A George Carlin classic

The late Carlin performed this famous bit on the very first Saturday Night Live in 1975. At the time, football was just starting to take the title from baseball as top sport in America. Some credit Carlin's performance in helping to fuel football's rise.

"Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness. Baseball has the sacrifice.

Baseball has the seventh inning stretch. Football has the two minute warning.

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!"

 

Bob Newhart

Nobody will ever play baseball

Newhart ponders how hard it would be to market baseball if it was invented today.

 

Key & Peele - Dueling Hats

We know you want more Key & Peele -- indulge in the ultimate sketch experience with curated collections, GIFs, memes and an illustrated dictionary. Nooice! http://on.cc.com/1RNbs9n Two friends engage in the ultimate fashion one-upmanship.

 

Conan O'Brien - 1864 Baseball

Late Night with Conan O'Brien

"Some say a waste of time. Others say an incredible waste of time."

 

Some of you might say, "Hey, you forgot about Who's on First!" To you, I simply say that you are wrong and it's not funny.

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